Roll over image to zoom in
Accidental Ironman: How Triathlon Ruined My Life
£6.80£10.40 (-35%)
Having spent 10 years scaling the lower echelons of the sport, the time has come for one of Britain’s least successful athletes to reveal all about how he got involved in all this nonsense in the first place. Marvel as he reveals: His sporting history – how being last pick at school football in the 1970s set him on course for a lifetime of being rubbish at team games.How he took up triathlons in the first place (for a bet, and the cow who made it with him never paid up).How he overcame a crippling lack of talent and a chorus of complete indifference from his family to complete 10 Ironmans, all outside the top 500 finishers.The many triathlon adventures he has experienced over the past 10 years (cow pats, Ironmans, incontinence, driving bans, broken bones, public nudity, spending entire redundancy payments on a new bike, Belgian portaloos, German knocking shops, sunburnt bum cheeks, channel swimming, fights with chavs, obsessions with weather and the nutritional value of jaffa cakes, 3 hour marathons, chronic dehydration and so on).The many and varied idiots he’s got to know as a result of taking up the sport (aka his mates).The typical training (hell) he goes through to take part in a race given he has absolutely no ability whatsoever.How triathlons ultimately caused him to sell his Mercedes, give away his expensive suit, chuck in his job in the City and become, as his father put it, a “god-damned hippy” (A cycle path designer who owns a camper van).
Read more
Additional information
| Publisher | Constable (6 Feb. 2014) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Paperback | 240 pages |
| ISBN-10 | 1472111052 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1472111050 |
| Dimensions | 13.21 x 1.6 x 19.71 cm |
by N. Rowe
OK, first things first – I was at secondary school with Martyn, so I have a sort of twisted inside view of this. I can confirm that he was utterly useless at football and by his mid-teens was already turning into a fairly sedentary lump. Not exactly “big-boned” but at least “well-padded”.
It was therefore quite a shock a few years back when he popped up on Facebook with pictures of him running and cycling (and apparently no-one chasing him with knives). Not only that, he was doing triathlons. And not only that, he was doing the hardest type – the Ironman races.
This book takes you through how the hell he turned from dough-like couch potato (apologies for the mixed carbohydrate metaphor) into a lean, scraggy racer who has won stuff (there’s a chapter all about how to win things, which mainly consists of doing your research and being old).
Be warned – his language is on the squishier side of ripe, so if you are easily offended this may not be for you. However, he produces some turns of phrase that had me actually laughing out loud and I mean that in a way that is no longer covered by the over-used ‘lol’. His description of getting out of the freezing English Channel onto a boat was one of the funniest lines I’ve read anywhere in ages.
You don’t have to be particularly into triathlons, keeping fit or even sport in general – for most of the book Martyn himself appears somewhat taken aback at what he finds himself doing. And it’s not all knob jokes either – one chapter was surprisingly moving.
And this glowing review is not simply because I know him. To be honest I half expected it to be a load of old toss, but apparently he has been honing his writing ‘style’ in a regular column for a triathlon magazine. Which, like his physical exertions, seems to have paid off.
Buy it you buggers. You won’t regret it.
by Tim Russell
Before I start this review I have to confess that I am an old schoolfriend of Brunty’s – and remembering his athletic prowess at school, or rather the utter lack thereof, I am astonished at the contents of this book. Though it has to be said that, given his sporting history, had he written a book relating how he once ran for a bus some time in the mid 90s, I would have been no less astonished.
“Accidental Ironman” is an account of our hero’s transformation from lardy couch spud to sinewy international triathlete and the blood, sweat, tears and lashings of lager it took to make the journey. Competitors, friends, schoolteachers and Brunty himself are all subjected to the man’s rapist, sorry I meant rapier, wit, which generally involves liberal use of Anglo-Saxon; and people like me, who find the concept of running a triathlon (or indeed, running to the end of the road) as appealing as rectal prolapse surgery without anaesthetic, will get some insight into why these nutters do what they do.
Those readers who don’t know the writer personally might emerge from the book thinking he is obnoxious, foul-mouthed and misanthropic; and they’d be absolutely spot on. And as a fellow obnoxious, foul-mouthed misanthrope, I enjoyed it immensely. It hasn’t inspired me to do a triathlon, but it has inspired me to write a book. Now I just need to achieve something.
by Amazon Customer
Lets start with a full disclaimer: I know the author and I like him a lot. But he is a liar. Anyone who claims to be of little sporting talent but achieves what he sets out in this book, clearly has a great deal of talent and determination to succeed. The book is less about offering tips on how to complete an Ironman than it is an exploration of the peculiar madness that overtakes the people who become obsessed with it. Anyone who has tried a triathlon of any sort will connect with Brunt’s story of progressing from completing a race as a bet, to it taking over his life.
Brunt gets away with the relentless mocking his friends by balancing it with equally cruel self-deprecatory sense of humour. Although I would not have wanted to be in the Brunt household when his long suffering wife rad the first proofs. None of friends are spared his line of withering sarcasm and every page contains an amusing, if not laugh out loud metaphor or joke at their expense. Brunt is a very funny man. He can therefore be forgiven for repeating a couple of his favourite jokes and for nicking one each from Douglas Adams and Tim Vine.
This is not a book intended to inspire readers to go out and try an Ironman for themselves. Nor are we meant to be amazed at sheer dedication of the author or admire his triumph over adversity. Instead we are meant to laugh at the sheer bloody stupidity of what he accomplishes. But more than that we get a sense of the fun he has had along the way. Compared to the one other book I have read by a triathlete, (‘Not Normal Behaviour’ – dull as hell) it is the fun Brunt has had training and competing that will make readers want have ago at triathlon themselves. Every triathlete should read this, if only to remind themselves not to take it all so seriously.
by Mr. A. M. Cassidy
Having read Martyn Brunts monthly column in 220 Triathlon magazine I knew what to expect and was not dissapointed.
Yes a lot of the stuff in the book has come straight from the pages of 220 but it was nice to see it fleshed out with some more personal info. I have to say I was not prepared for the tears to be rolling down my face, not from laughing either, mixed in amongst all the funny stuff was an extremely sad story that will have anyone in tears.
For a man who is constantly putting himself down it is quite clear that he actaully really does know what he is doing but this is not a training guide so if that is what you are looking for keep looking but if you want a funny insight into what it takes to take on a triathlon then buy this book, you will not be dissapointed.