Dirty Laundry: Why adults with ADHD are so ashamed and what we can do to help – THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
£8.80£14.20 (-38%)
‘Made us giggle and helped us forge a much deeper connection with our friends and family with ADHD. A godsend!’ – Davina McCall & Michael Douglas
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If you have ADHD – or love somebody who does – DIRTY LAUNDRY will change your life, and your relationships.
Do you feel crippling shame because you struggle with cleaning, personal hygiene, or time-keeping? Do you always feel misunderstood by the people close to you and find that they get frustrated by your behaviour?
DIRTY LAUNDRY is an unfiltered look into the chaos of real life with ADHD. It will transform your self-hatred into self-acceptance, with simple tips that actually work for your brain. It will also help to educate partners, parents and friends, to help them move from frustration to patience, understanding – and love.
Learn how to:
– Stop believing you are fundamentally broken
– Stop judging yourself by the standards of a neurotypical world
– Communicate your struggles to those who love you
– Support someone with ADHD in ways that work for them
– Be compassionate rather than judgemental …and much more.
From the husband-and-wife team behind social media phenomenon @ADHD_Love, whose viral videos have been viewed more than 200 million times, comes a fearless, often outrageously funny, account of life, learning, and growing with ADHD. They share the strategies they have used to reduce shame, improve communication, and find happiness in their neurodivergent household.
Filled with heartbreak and humour in equal measure, DIRTY LAUNDRY is an invaluable resource both for neurodivergents and the people who love them. The ultimate gift for anyone who wants to understand ADHD better.
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Additional information
| Publisher | Square Peg (9 Mar. 2023) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Paperback | 160 pages |
| ISBN-10 | 1529915406 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1529915402 |
| Dimensions | 13.5 x 1.2 x 21.6 cm |
by Cici Sparkle
I’ve followed ADHD_love since it popped up on Instagram. The account helped me realise I might have ADHD, and it’s been amazing to see those real, vulnerable, adorable moments that the authors of this book shared there. The book is more of that, but deeper and with extra support.
Reading this book, I felt seen, understood, and comforted to think that there are great people in the world who struggle with the same difficult to fathom struggles that I have and manage them with power and compassion.
This book is part autobiographical account of how ADHD has specifically affected the authors and their relationship/s, part self-help. I found it incredibly useful and I’ll be handing it over to my husband to read next.
It does have a couple of minor limitations:
As a personal account from one couple, there’s no way this book can possibly cover *everything there is to know* about ADHD, or every scenario where ADHD might make things difficult. Expecting that would be my limitation – not the book’s. The authors acknowledge that they can’t speak for everyone and don’t seek to offer something impossible. It’s actually really useful to see how someone else’s ADHD presents, since we’re all unique.
It bars some holds. This isn’t a bad thing – Rox and Rich are entitled to privacy and to share only what they’re comfortable sharing. The book might be called dirty laundry but it’s the kind that only wants a light wash. Again, this doesn’t make the book any less helpful – just a point to mention that there are certain things that need support that a book can’t provide. Still, there are brave truths shared and I did cry numerous times throughout the read.
These limitations only serve to make it clearer to me that I really do want to seek more information and effective treatment, and I think it’s going to give me more confidence to do that. I hope & expect that the book can do the same for plenty more readers.
by tea-rex
I am a 32 year old AuDHDer (I’m autistic and have ADHD – as well as other common mental health comorbidities). I’ve always felt like the female experience of these conditions often goes ignored, whether by professionals or everyday folks who have been trained by society to only see ADHD as something seen in hyperactive little boys, that it ‘cant really be a disability’, or that it’s something someone can grow out of or simply learn to get a grip on.
These common misconceptions are just not true. This condition ruins peoples lives in the worst possible ways and it deserves FAR more research, attention and funding than it gets. This book approaches ADHD in a frank and completely transparent way, showing the absolute worst parts of ADHD that people who live with the condition are often so ashamed to acknowledge, never mind admit to.
Rox, the ‘ADHD wife’, gives her honest and soul-bearing accounts of just how her ADHD has affected her whole life, giving us all the gory details and in so doing, helping me to feel not only like I’m not alone in these gruelling life experiences (no way am I alone!), but that this is so utterly commonplace nowadays that it’s genuinely appalling that there isn’t more medical help for this condition or more attention given to the science behind WHY this is considered a disability.
Everyone knows the ‘typical’ ADHD symptoms such as losing things, forgetfulness, distractibility – but never have I read a book until now where the symptoms that NOBODY wants to acknowledge get spoken about SO frankly. The truth is, a lot of us ADHDers struggle with ‘basic’ things such as personal hygiene and cleanliness (amongst other things), but this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone go into real depth and talk about not only those struggles, but WHY we have them, as well as what we can do to help!
Rich, Rox’s husband, is unapologetically frank in offering his side of the story and wholly compassionate towards not only the severity of the condition his lovely wife lives with, but supportive and understanding of the condition itself. It’s very clear that he is actively doing his best to not only support her, but that he accepts Rox exactly the way she is and loves her unconditionally. Together, they are living their lives in a way that suits them BOTH – this is not a case of ‘pandering’ to Rox’s ADHD symptoms. It’s a husband and wife team utterly in love and both doing their absolute best to support one another.
The only negative thing I can possibly say is that I wish the book was longer! I understand (and fully appreciate as an ADHDer myself) that it was written in bite-size chunks and small chapters in order to keep the ND brain engaged – and it works! – but I just wish there were more symptoms discussed as there are literally HUNDREDS! Who knows… maybe Rox and Rich will write another book in the future to cover all bases – I’m hoping so!
by Victoria M.
I have an undiagnosed ADHD partner (it was my therapist that suggested he might be) and since looking into certain behaviours, things make so much more sense.
This book is fantastic at highlighting some common ADHD behaviours, constantly reminding you of the shame said behaviours will create, and how as their partner you can reframe your way of thinking.
We have definitely spent years arguing about chores, dinner, being organised, etc and honestly seeing that it is the same for other couples is a relief. I now try not to get frustrated and remember that we see things differently, and that assistance and gentle reminders really go a long way!
Roxy also talks about appearing co-dependant, which after 8 years with my partner…same! There are just some aspects in our relationship that one of us will *always* handle, and you know what it works for us with no overwhelm!
Overall it’s a simple and concise book, filled with personal experiences that may or may not apply to you/your ADHD partner, but is a small step to reframing negative thoughts and hopefully steering people towards the help that they need!