Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing: ‘Funny, fascinating and compelling’ The Times
£8.70£9.50 (-8%)
‘There’s never been a more honest or raw memoir … and it may just save lives’ Daily Mail
‘Funny, fascinating, compelling … also a wonderful read for fans of Friends’ The Times
The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence.
This is the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, who takes us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who travelled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more.
In an extraordinary story that only he could tell – and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it – Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humour, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fuelled it despite seemingly having it all.
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening – as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for.
‘An unflinching and often harrowing must-read for 90s pop culture fans’ Guardian
‘Written with Chandler’s trademark sarcasm and self-deprecation’ Telegraph
‘A hopeful read … I started to think of [it] not as a celebrity memoir about addiction, but as an addiction memoir written by a man who understands his own history through the prism of showbiz’ Independent
Read more
Additional information
| Publisher | Headline, 1st edition (14 Mar. 2024) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Paperback | 272 pages |
| ISBN-10 | 1472295978 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1472295972 |
by Jean Nightingale
What an amazing read Mathew went through so much in his short life. The detail of all his experiences that life through at him made such a great read. His determination to fight his inner self to the end and help others. Not only a great actor but a good author.
by Amazon Customer
A very honest, open and humorous read. I take my hat off to him for writing this, warts and all, addiction is terribly complex for each person suffering, albeit, appears simplistic to non-sufferers, this book debunks that and through his own story demonstrates how tough life is for an addict. I’ve known addicts, especially substances users and have seen first hand the pain and suffering they go through, on and off the wagon, no care for their life in general. I think it’s a book that could definitely be useful for other addicts and supporters of them. Although, I’ve not managed to quite finish it yet due to the world losing this very funny, warm and complex man. RIEP Matty
by Tadworth565
Easy to read, although I wonder if MP wrote the start of the book and someone else completed it? I think if you liked his personality then don’t read this. People are desperate for fame but then just end up sad, lonely and addicted.
by Amazon Customer
Could not put this book down. absolutely amazing read, Matthew managed to tell such very moving and emotional parts of his life with a underlying tone of humour that even when you wanted to cry for him you ended up laughing. A great in-site of the life of the man that many have found comfort in watching over the years through friends, its a shame he was unable to have that comfort himself.
can not recommend this book enough, really eye opening
by Emma
I’ve have wanted this book for a while but never picked it up but with the sad loss of Matthew Perry it was a must. I have watched friends every single year since it first aired, he’s been in some great films aswell. Thank you for the laughter and quips Mattman you went far too soon.
by Jackie Parcell
Matthew Perry did a good thing, writing this book. He was a very funny man, but his life was sad. This book examines the human condition and the danger of addiction. I highlighted several paragraphs which held truth for me and which I can learn from. I thank Matthew for leaving this book behind, for telling his story. ????
by karen
Matthew Perry explains in detail his struggles with addiction. Now he is gone from this world it makes it even more sad as he had such hopes for the future.
by Big Andy
Wow!
For many years I’d heard that Matthew Perry had had serious problems with drugs and alcohol, but I was absolutely stunned by the intimate revelations contained in this audiobook. By any logic, Perry’s substance abuse should have killed him by now: his twin addictions to liquor and opiates should have ended his life many years ago. It’s an absolute miracle that the TV and movie star has made it to 53 years of age. Fortunately, Perry has survived for long enough to write and record this brilliant memoir. I found this audiobook to be utterly compelling: I listened to it all in just two days.
This memoir is really two books in one. At one level it chronicles the life of a wannabe Canadian actor who migrates to Hollywood as a teenager and ends up living the American Fantasy, staring in the most commercially successful sit-com ever and making many millions of dollars. But on another level it’s the sad and appalling tale of a deeply damaged human being who spends decades battling with his crippling addictions. This level was for me the most interesting.
The book begins in 2018, when Matthew Perry experienced the worst day of his life.
While living in a rehabilitation facility with his female “sober companion” Perry suddenly experiences crippling stomach pains. The actor instantly realises that something is seriously wrong. After defying the facility’s staff, who believe the actor is just faking it as an excuse to leave and get high, Perry is rushed into a local hospital by his companion. While there, his colon “explodes” and he ends up in a two-week induced coma. He will eventually be required to wear a colostomy bag for months. The colon problem was caused, of course, by his drug and alcohol addictions. It’s this incident that finally causes Perry to for-once-and-for-all confront his demons.
Perry then takes us back to his childhood, which is, of course, the cause of all his troubles. Soon after Perry’s 1969 birth in Massachusetts to a Canadian mother and an American Father, the future actor’s parents relocate to Ottawa, Canada, where Perry spends his next 15 years. Sadly, Perry’s parents divorce before their child’s first birthday and the father decides to return to the United States. John Perry heads for Hollywood, hoping to make it big as an actor.
Back in Canada, Matthew Perry leads an unremarkable life: he’s an average student but does become a decent tennis player, good enough to be ranked nationally. He has his first drink at 14 and instantly falls in love with alcohol. His mother remarries and has four children with her new husband. Matthew now becomes the outsider in the new family unit; he also begins to argue bitterly with his mother. The foundations of his self-destructive life have been laid.
Aged 15, Perry decides to join his father in California. He had been routinely visiting John from the age of 5, always travelling alone as an “unaccompanied minor” because his parents couldn’t stand the sight of each other. Perry is traumatised by those long, lonely flights to this day, he states. The unhappy child being shuttled back and forth across the North American continent grows up to be the unhappy adult who feels unlovable and who is terrified of commitment. Like many thousands of others who go to Hollywood, Matthew Perry decides that one day he is going to be rich and famous and even kneels down and prays to God for it to happen. For some reason Perry believes that fame and money will fill the “hole” inside him. Later, he discovers that it absolutely won’t.
After years of minor roles and failed projects, in 1994 Perry finally hits the big time with Friends. Suddenly, he and his 5 other co-stars are the most famous faces on television. But his life soon begins to fall apart. After a minor accident Perry quickly develops an addiction to prescription opiates, which, coupled with his long-term dependency on alcohol, causes his life to spiral out of control. Soon, his ability to lead anything remotely like a normal existence is severely affected. Perry’s weight fluctuates and he is reduced to filming his movies and TV shows between stints in rehab. At one point he has to abandon the shooting of a film because he is too sick with his addictions.
Like I stated earlier, this memoir is really two books in one. Perry’s recollections provide a fascinating insight into the American entertainment world of the Eighties, Nineties and beyond. The unknown Perry of the pre-Friends days scrambles around Hollywood looking for any acting work while drinking and partying with his young buddies. At times he and his pals are down to their last few dollars. But when mega-fame comes, jealousies quickly emerge. One of Perry’s closest friends abandons him and he doesn’t see him again for two years. Perry also senses resentment from his own father. And just how much luck played a part in Perry winning the role of Chandler Bing will amaze you.
But the addiction part of the book is fascinating too. Sometimes this memoir reads like an odyssey of rehabilitation institutions. Perry has travelled from as far Switzerland to Utah and all over the US in his search for a cure to his problems. The actor estimates that he has spent in excess of 7 million US dollars in therapy and his stays at various rehabilitation units. He is very bitter at this, at one point questioning their usefulness and railing against their greed. His illness has cost him a considerable chunk of his fortune.
The book ends on a positive note. At the time of finishing the writing of the memoir, in early 2022, Perry has been clean for some time. He has even managed to kick smoking after his doctor warned him that he was risking developing emphysema by the age of 60. The actor still lives with the sober companion and spends much of his time helping other addicts and campaigning for better understanding and help for other people with substance abuse problems. Sadly, Perry has never married nor had any children. The actor’s chronic inability to commit to a woman is highlighted throughout the book. Over-and-over-again during his adult life he has dumped girlfriends, convinced that they were about to leave him anyway. The agony of being abandoned by a woman is something his delicate psyche just can’t cope with, and so he won’t risk it. He even dumped Julia Roberts! This self-loathing is the key to understanding Perry’s addictive personality: he just doesn’t love himself enough.
This is a superb memoir. It’s brutally honest and very insightful. Worryingly, Perry’s voice on the audiobook is that of an old, weary man. The actor sounds like someone in his seventies rather than a person of just 53. And recent pictures of Perry are shocking: he looks nothing like the beautiful young screen performer who was a heartthrob to millions of girls in the Nineties and the early part of this century. The drugs and alcohol have taken a devastating long-term toll on his health.
But at least he’s still alive.