Spare: by Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex
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It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow-and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling-and how their lives would play out from that point on.
For Harry, this is that story at last.
Before losing his mother, twelve-year-old Prince Harry was known as the carefree one, the happy-go-lucky Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything. He struggled at school, struggled with anger, with loneliness-and, because he blamed the press for his mother’s death, he struggled to accept life in the spotlight.
At twenty-one, he joined the British Army. The discipline gave him structure, and two combat tours made him a hero at home. But he soon felt more lost than ever, suffering from post-traumatic stress and prone to crippling panic attacks. Above all, he couldn’t find true love.
Then he met Meghan. The world was swept away by the couple’s cinematic romance and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. Over the centuries, leaving the Royal Family was an act few had dared. The last to try, in fact, had been his mother. . . .
For the first time, Prince Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty. A landmark publication, Spare is full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief.
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Additional information
| Publisher | Bantam, 1st edition (10 Jan. 2023) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Hardcover | 416 pages |
| ISBN-10 | 0857504797 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-0857504791 |
| Dimensions | 22.1 x 16.9 x 0.66 cm |
by Dinka
This book has NOT been security checked for correct information , I feel Meghan and Harry are laughing at me for buying this book , And putting my money in there pockets. Harry can’t come up with any dates, says he can’t remember the dates of anything , Said he was At college on a Hot summers day when the phone call came about his Great Great Grandmother passing , He was not at school he was Skiing in Switzerland with his Brother ( I remember this) And the papers have come back with the proof. Harry says that his mother bought him an XBox for his 13th birthday in advance of her death that her sister brought to the school for him, again not true the XBox didn’t come out till 4 years later . There is so many holes in the book . Every other page has something on it that didn’t happen. He takes NO reasonability for ANYthing even when the evidence is staring him in his face. This book is a BIG con, don’t waste your money.
by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex
The searing image of Prince Harry and his brother Prince William walking behind their mother’s coffin is etched in all of our minds. And what I notice throughout is the most seismic event of Harry’s life, when he tragically lost his mother at the age of 12, which shapes the book. There are some interesting (sometimes funny) anecdotes about his royal life when he was younger, but threaded across the pages are also incredibly raw and emotional moments. What is also conveyed very deeply is the pitiful life of “the Spare” – often feeling as though your life has no value, no ultimate mission/goal, you have nothing to offer because you will never wear the Crown. As Prince Harry himself says, when his whole life has been told through the lens of the media, why should he not be able to (finally) tell his own story from the man who lived it! It is undeniably depressing that Harry and Meghan felt they couldn’t continue in their royal roles. They could have been a huge force for good, supporting communities in the UK and the Commonwealth, representing a true Modern Monarchy with their enviable platform and privilege. Leaked excerpts of The Duke’s memoirs don’t do his story justice. The book as a whole is a must read! Highly recommend 🙂
by J
I bought this book purely out of curiosity in January when it was first published, and I posted a review after I’d read it – again back at the beginning of the year (about February time) which over 1,400 people found helpful. That review stayed on Amazon until around May time (coincidentally around the time of the coronation), when suddenly it was removed on the grounds it ‘broke guidelines’, although I was never told what rules it had suddenly been in breach of and when I tried to access the link they helpfully sent me in their email to find out it didn’t work. Since then I have managed to access the guidelines and I can’t honestly see what was wrong with my review of this book. Yes, admittedly it is quite long and yes it contains spoilers where I have paraphrased what Harry has said, but I think I have been completely objective about it whilst at the same time giving my own personal opinion of the book and its content so therefore I am trying to repost it again so here it is…
I’ve seen the media stories and the spin, and I’ve never really paid that much attention and I’ve always taken anything I’ve ever read in the media with a pinch of salt. I’m not a raging flag waving royalist but neither am I a republican I sort of sit somewhere in the middle. I read the Andrew Morton Diana’s story book years ago and we all know Diana’s tragic story so I also knew that the royal family back then were pretty brutal and she was undoubtedly treated diabolically by them but part of me, a naïve part of me assumed lessons had been learnt from everything that surrounded Diana. As I was reading this, and going on what Harry says it became clear very quickly that they’ve learnt nothing.
I’ve never read anything so heart-breaking in my entire life. There have been constant rumblings in the media saying what is written is lies. However, I will say that for the most part Harry comes across as quite believable. While I keep a reasonable amount of scepticism and cynicism and I will say that there are some parts which I don’t feel are totally accurate or are probably exaggerated somewhat, I also know between the stories in the tabloids and this book, which one I think is on the whole the more genuine.
What I got from it from his own words was a twelve-year-old boy who was left traumatised by the death of his mother and who didn’t get the love and support from his family he should have, because that family was too emotionally stunted and entirely dysfunctional and too preoccupied with appearances and public opinion. That left him completely lost for a number of years. So much so he didn’t believe and couldn’t accept the fact his mother had died and he whole heartedly believed she was in hiding for a number of years and would one day return. That isn’t delusional, that is being trapped in a perfectly natural stage of grief. In this case denial because from what he said nobody helped him to overcome it. Indeed, going on what he has written he said he was packed off back to boarding school shortly after the funeral and just left to get on with it – at this point let’s not forget it was not your standard run of the mill funeral. It was a funeral where he was expected to walk behind his mother’s coffin with his brother with the eyes of the world on him (and yes, I agree with what Harry says Charles Spencer said about that – it was barbaric).
Harry talks at length and with obvious fondness about his time in Africa and the army. (The chapter about his time in the army does go on a bit). He says he found himself when he went to Africa and I would agree with that but I believe he found his real purpose when he joined the army. He admits he wasn’t a scholar and when he joined the army, he found something he was good at, excelled at – he found a purpose. Plus, there he was no longer the prince, he was just one of the lads, anonymous and free.
The main running theme through this book is his (in my opinion justifiable) resentment and antipathy towards the media. That is the whole point of this book after all, he is speaking out telling his story and not the story the media have written about him his entire life. This is Harry setting the record straight, for those people who choose to believe it. These were the people who he held responsible for his mother’s death (and it was a completely reasonable assumption on his part as we saw how Diana was constantly hunted by paps). He speaks about how the media also made him incredibly isolated because he had to always question people’s integrity and motives. Did people want to know him genuinely or were they just looking to make a few quid by prostituting their association with him to the press. Plus, he always had to consider whose lives he was destroying by becoming involved with them and was it really worth it? How incredibly lonely he was, was reiterated loud and clear through this book in different ways. He was desperately trying to find something to cling on to and all the while he was searching, he was being repeatedly retraumatised by the British press, and they through their actions compounded that loneliness.
In my opinion, they really do have a lot to answer for and I find it incredibly telling that because Harry is standing up to them, and saying ‘they did this, this and this’ they obviously don’t like it. They don’t like being called out on their actions. So, in response they (the media) are deliberately picking out the trivial ‘whiny’ parts from the book. The filler which when read in context with the other parts makes complete sense and explains how he was feeling was then compounded by the trivial petty things like sibling rivalry. So, as I say they (the media) are responding to how he says he was treated by them by pulling these trivial parts and using them to ridicule him and discredit him, making him come across as a whining baby who should just ‘get over it’ – as they have said repeatedly by using the title of the book as their pun – to ‘spare’ us. That is called gaslighting and that is what bullies do, and from what he says in this book and their subsequent behaviour since this book was published the press by their own actions have appeared to be nothing but bullies.
We all know that the press do not like being held accountable for their actions and it makes them even more vicious in their attempts to silence those who dare to defy them and so they have waged open warfare on Harry because he and Meghan sued them and won over the fact they ‘acquired’ and published an edited version of a private letter sent to Meghan’s father. I believe from what he says they have further lawsuits pending. So gaslighting and intimidation seem to be the order of the day to try and shut him up and make them go away.
This has been the case for years though, the media have been called out on their less than stellar behaviour before and always come back with the ‘freedom of speech’ defence, ‘the free press’ and I quite agree with that because it is important to have freedom of speech but what they do is not freedom of speech it is quite the opposite in fact, and we all know it. They want to control the narrative, control what people think and say, sway public opinion and they do that by whipping up hysteria and invoking tribal instincts. Twisting the facts spinning things and printing half-truths, and sometimes downright bare faced lies, offering a drip feed of a certain opinion to manipulate the psyche, stir up feelings and emotions – and that is propaganda. They think that is acceptable and you can see why they think that because we all know they do it to a certain extent but we still go along with it, society as a whole is complicit in their duplicity under the guise of ‘the free press’ and this is what I think Harry is trying to get across about them in this book, he is calling them out on their ‘tactics’. Then there is their argument that he is ‘fair game’ which is also a questionable one. The main argument against that assumption is he never asked for that life, he was born into it he had no choice but to be thrust in front of the cameras from the moment he was born. What I got from what he wrote was that he knows and accepts the media will be interested in him because of who he is and what he was born into but what he doesn’t accept is the levels of harassment and intrusion that he has endured, or what he sees as the bare faced lies told about him.
What he said he has endured was truly horrific and nobody should have to live like that no matter who they are. I was barely half way through the book, when I had read the media had contacted the palace and lied about having a photograph of him to try and blackmail him into giving them a story – apparently, he called their bluff on that one which exposed their lie. He says that they destroyed two personal relationships – one of the said girlfriends only lasted a couple of days before the harassment and intrusion made her rethink her choices. The other lasted longer and she once allegedly rang Harry in tears wondering why the paps always managed to find her and corner her wherever she was. He says that it was quickly discovered that they managed that because they had put a tracker on her car. He says that they harassed and bullied family members of people he was associated with, and we have all seen how the media behave so I am inclined to believe what he is saying. He says that they allegedly illegally hacked his phone and they nearly ruined his army career. He says that a journalist allegedly broke into Sandhurst while he was training and they spun it that they were doing it to expose the laxed security and showing Harry was in danger – Seriously?! He says that they exposed where he was when he was in a warzone which was totally idiotically irresponsible as it was not only putting his life but all those around him at risk in that area. He says that he was pulled out twice and retrained twice before the MOD said enough was enough and gave him a nice safe desk job which I believe ultimately made him take the decision to leave the army, and that was all despite the media crowing about how responsible they were imposing a blackout to maintain security and his safety. He talks repeatedly about two particular paps who cross the line repeatedly goading him just to try and get a rise out of him because they know that if they did get him to react, they would get more money for their photographs. Harry writes how he recalls his security once telling one that ‘they are going to get someone killed’ but goes on to say that they just didn’t care as long as they got their photograph. No matter what you think of him personally – How can any of that behaviour if true be considered acceptable, justifiable or in the public interest? I will reiterate at this point that we have all seen how the media behave on occasions so I am inclined to believe these claims he makes.
He holds up his hands and admits he made it easy for them at times with his own behaviour, (for example the Nazi uniform debacle). I will say at this point that there are parts of this book where he talks about some of the things, he did through his life which are distasteful and uncomfortable. For example, ridiculing a teacher at his boarding school. He talks about it with no obvious genuine remorse and in these instances, he comes across as entitled and privileged and not a very nice person.
He says that he repeatedly turned to his father for help, when he was being hounded by the media and was told repeatedly ‘just don’t read it’. Maintaining a dignified silence is all very well, but when it is said that your own employees appear to be complicit in peddling the lies fed to the media which is what Harry claims then that is an entirely different story and then it smacks more of, I’d rather not get involved in case they turn on me again.
It is incredibly sad to read that he has allegedly been repeatedly let down by his own family but despite that, what also comes through loud and clear in his words is that he really doesn’t hold it against them, he is just saddened by it. He makes excuses for his father’s behaviour and it is clear from what he says that he still loves them dearly despite everything. He tells of how he and William asked Charles not to marry Camilla. He says that they wanted him to be happy, they saw Camilla made him happy so they agreed to endorse the relationship for him so he could be happy. He says that they just asked him don’t marry her and yet history tells us he ignored that very reasonable and understandable request. His relationship with William is particularly moving, it is clear from what he says that he looked up to William growing up and just wanted… needed to be close to him but it is also clear William didn’t want that, which if you look at it from William’s perspective as the older brother is understandable and natural. As children older siblings generally don’t want to admit that their younger siblings exist especially in the school environment and you have to remember that they were both children at the time but it also had the knock on effect of making Harry feel even more isolated and alone.
But the most heart-breaking part of this story is the fact what he says has happened is inevitable because the monarchy is an institution, it is tradition and continuity and anything that challenges that – which Harry obviously has with this book is seen as a threat. It survives only because of public opinion, and so Harry by basically throwing his family under the bus and exposing them and the institution has inevitably created repercussions. The royal family is also incredibly ruthless, it has been seen and there is documented evidence of it time and time again through the years. Looking back, you see how it cuts off those it sees as a threat to its survival (and in many cases rightly so) and I believe that Harry, through kicking against that system and through standing up and by telling his story how he sees how his life has played out and by exposing them is now their latest amputation because he has become a threat and liability to the survival of the monarchy.
I cannot say I enjoyed this book, because it is not meant to be enjoyed it was not written for entertainment but to enlighten. Whilst I remain sceptical of some of the claims Harry makes, reading it has confirmed for me a number of things I have always suspected and it has disabused me of the hope that the royal family will ever learn from their past mistakes.