The Bloody British: A Well-Meaning Guide to an Awkward Nation
£9.50
Ever said sorry to an inanimate object?
Formed a queue… on your own?
Or spent the whole night standing naked in a stranger’s cupboard because you’re too polite to ask for help? (Don’t ask.)
Being British isn’t easy. Especially if you live abroad, where your countrymen aren’t exactly famous for, well, blending in.
As his beloved homeland goes bananas, bestselling humourist Paul Hawkins takes on Britishness—how it looks from the outside, how to be British abroad and what you only learn about home once you leave it.
In this comedy book of funny anecdotes and satirical advice, he reveals the awkward secrets, private oddness and cultural blind-spots of the British, for any one who has ever wondered how we look through foreign eyes.
Part memoir and part cheat-sheet for decoding a nation of well-meaning misfits, The Bloody British is full of hilarious insights about Britishness gleaned—often begrudgingly—from the author’s own time as other people’s foreigner.
Featuring invaluable advice for all Brits and newcomers to the UK, including:
- The Brit Abroad Language-Speaking Plan
- How to be Rude, Politely (the secret code of passive-aggression)
- How to be Mean, Nicely (the unwritten rules of banter)
- … plus the14-page illustrated ‘Integration Guide’ spoof for British tourists and travellers.
For all fans of Very British Problems, Douglas Adams and Bill Bryson, it’s the perfect gift for the socially awkward oddball in your life (especially if that socially awkward oddball is you.)
*****
Praise (and hostility) for The Bloody British:
★★★★★ “Bloody funny.” Josef Mengele
★★★★★ “Frighteningly accurate.” Nicholas Grainger
★★★★★ “Filled with hilariously witty observations. Brilliant.” Tom Hardy
★★★★★ “A fabulous antidote for post-Brexit blues.” Nicole
★★★★★ “This book takes everything and nothing seriously. Bloody great.” Ms. E. Barker
★★★★★ “Excellent and painfully close to the truth. I suspect the negative reviews are from inveterate Brexiteers, or members of the knotted hankie brigade.” Maxzie
★☆☆☆☆ “As britain is an island consisiting of 3 different and not a nation itself, this book is highly inaccurate.” Dennis
★★★★★ “A timely comic relief from the drudgery of Brexit. Hilarious.” Alex
★★★★★ “Essential reading for newly landed Brits-to-be.” Mitch
★★★★★ “Informative and humorous. As a foreigner, I could understand better the British spirit.” Paula
★★★★★ “I loved everything about this funny, quirky, lovely book. A must read.” Mirja Brachtel
★★★★★ “Spot on observations and very funny anecdotes. The story about the author insulting Prince Andrew is hilarious!” Adam
★★★★★ “Nobody puts [the British] into perspective better than Mr Hawkins.” – Mike
★★★★★ “Very funny. Scarily true.” E. Gamewell
★★★★★ “Very perceptive and encapsulates what it is to be ‘British'” Mo
★☆☆☆☆ “I am getting quite sick of all these ‘British’ titles which really should read ‘English.’ Britain is a geographical term it is not a nation. By all means, call the book ‘The Bloody English’ but don’t lazily incorporate one of the most ancient nations in Europe in what is a satirical work about the English.” Scottish reader
★★★★★ “If you are fed up of taking life too seriously then this is a book for you. Brilliant.” Kindle reader
★★★★★ “Witty, sarcastic, self-deprecating and yet weirdly adoring take on what it means to be British.” Kindle reader
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Additional information
| Publisher | Independently published (14 Nov. 2019) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Paperback | 279 pages |
| ISBN-10 | 1706709919 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1706709916 |
| Dimensions | 12.7 x 1.78 x 20.32 cm |
by Sticky
When the author left Britain, he expected to find out about other countries, but instead he ended up finding out more about his own country, seeing it through the eyes of his girlfriend and other foreign friends. The book is a mix of satire and amusing anecdotes that teach British people how they are seen abroad, as well as what you only find out about your own culture by travelling.
by Nicholas grainger
A great read, very funny but be prepared, you may well see yourself in here – I did!
by Richard Miller
I think the premise of the book is admirable, alas the execution is simplistic and not particularly funny. I also found the political angle, whilst pretending not to be, we’re not well argued or explained…. I would suggest the author is at heart a proper remoainer!
by Amazon Customer
Amzing book…that’s all – just read it to understand something that many people don’t realise about the British. 1000 recommendations!
by Rose
There seems to be two schools of thought about this book. Either it gets five stars or one star. I’ve heard it called one long moan. That’s what I don’t get. I think some reviewers have kind of missed the point. Do they not know the phrase tongue in cheek? I found it amusing. Not a laough on every page amusing but seriously funny in parts. it’s a British analysis and it’s pretty accurate or would be if Britain wasn’t such a melting pot of thin skins and multicultures all bbmoaning the fact that ‘it’s not fair’. No seriously though, I really liked it.
by C Howley
Being a remainder, being Irish and living I was sceptical about buying this book. I have read some of the authors other books so I said I’d give it a go but I was dubious. But it takes a great look at the madness behind the brexit vote and done with very good humour. Definitely Paul’s best books so far.
by Frank
Some good points, interesting in places, quite accurate in description, but overall nothing special.
by Kindle Customer
Am English and am going to be polite about this written account that attempts to explain the English psyche. Maybe putting it into print is a wonderful idea in every other country in Europe the mind boggles at providing it in English for an English readership.
Any moderately self aware and intelligent person will have drawn the same conclusions arrived at in the book for themselves or laughed about them with friends, so why the hell would anybody feel the need to read it if they are English. To be honest I have laughed at funnier obituaries than this poorly targeted tome. The type of English people who this pokes fun at are just going to be offended so why translate into English.
The bottom line is do not waste your time reading this as it is as pointless as a broken pencil.