The Madness of Grief: A Memoir of Love and Loss
£4.70£9.50 (-51%)
The #2 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER from the author of MURDER BEFORE EVENSONG
‘Immensely moving and disarmingly witty’ Nigella Lawson
‘Such a moving, tough, funny, raw, honest read’ Matt Haig
‘Beautifully written, moving and gut-wrenching, but also at times very funny’ Ian Rankin
‘Captures brilliantly, beautifully, bravely the comedy as well as the tragedy of bereavement’ The Times
‘Will strike a chord with anyone who has grieved’Independent
When the Reverend Richard Coles’s partner died suddenly, shortly before Christmas in 2019, what came next took Richard by surprise. Despite his years of experience assisting his parishioners in examining life’s moral questions, Richard now found he needed guidance himself. Much about grief was unexpected: the volume of ‘sadmin’ that must be undertaken, how much harder it is travelling solo for work, the pain of typing a text message to your partner – then remembering they are gone. This deeply personal account of life after grief will resonate, unforgettably, long after the final page has been turned.
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Additional information
| Publisher | W&N (8 Aug. 2022) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Paperback | 192 pages |
| ISBN-10 | 1474619630 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1474619639 |
| Dimensions | 12.95 x 0.2 x 19.69 cm |
by PinkyBud
You’ll laugh and cry with the honesty and baring of the soul in this book. It deals with death and loss not in a morbid way but a truthful account of getting through.
I would thoroughly recommend this book.
by D Wines
An honest account of grief after a bereavement.
by Mr AD Price
Helped me with my grief. Read this book over one day. Brilliant. Honest and funny and makes me want to go to Church and get a dog.
by Rosie O’Hara
It was actually following the Reverend Richard Coles on Twitter that enticed me to purchase this book. It is a moving and highly relatable acount of how after many of life’s trials and tests and failed relationships (although not mentioned in this book but ones I read later) we can find someone who is the ‘love of our life’. (I have first hand experience.) Then ‘bang’ this person, becomes ill and dies. So many things remain unfulfilled. I had to stop reading halfway through and come back to the book. Simply because I wanted to savour the fact that this happened to someone else, not just me.
If we allow it this loss can become all consuming. The public face we see of Richard (gosh your wished for title is a tad long) only allows glimpses of the loss of David to come through. Well written, bravely shared.
I will add in case anyone reads this review, for me it was a long time ago and I have remarried, we share the fact that we are not the ‘love of each other’s life’ and respect that we had that previously.
Thanks for sharing Richard.
by mikeb
A highly qualified book I lost my wife after a short illness this book really helped me understand the trauma of personal grief
by boatmusdir
Rev Coles is fluent, articulate, and slightly gossipy. All these skills serve him well in taking us on his journey of paralysing grief after his beloved dies unexpectedly. As the book develops Coles gradually reveals more information and more reminiscences about his spouse and their life together, both in transcendent happiness and furious fallings out. Along the way, his magpie-like interest in art, music, liturgy, faith, dogs, and above all friends, family, parishioners, vets etc illuminate the narrative of his grief with kindness and contradiction in equal measure.
Ultimately this sometimes witty read becomes desperately moving in the inexorable journey towards the laying to rest of a life partner now lost.
Whilst some may perhaps peevishly carp at the many travels Coles undertakes to visit friends offering him succour, I prefer to rejoice he had assembled such a cohort of firm long-lasting friendships which brought such support in the darkest hour.
And I found it moving and brave that he found the self knowledge and humility to write of his exit after the funeral service “There I understood what I was feeling, something so unusual for me I did not at first recognise it: I did not want to be the centre of attention”.
For me, such unflinching honesty deserves our respect. I recommend this meditation on the madness of grief.
by Babs
I rarely review books but I felt the need to comment on this one. I’m not even sure why I downloaded this as I’m neither gay nor religious but once started, I couldn’t put it down. It spoke to me in a way I wouldn’t have expected: odd lines are with me still. It paints a most moving picture of a loving relationship, like most relationships not without its fault-lines, not without humour and certainly not without laying bare some aspects of his private life that the Reverend Coles might have preferred to keep private had he not been in the sometimes critical public eye. He doesn’t gloss over the hate mail but is lucky enough to have a large cohort of hugely supportive family and friends, something that many bereaved do not have access to. In his grief he manages to both offer support to others and and carry out his ministry: a terribly hard ask for someone whose job entails participating at funerals and comforting mourners. I sincerely hope that his experiences will help others suffering a shattering loss and help them make sense of what life has thrown at them.
by Cottagegardener
I didn’t know about this book. I was looking for Richard Coles murder mystery novel but I saw it and bought it. My husband died 2 months ago and so many things that Richard Coles writes about mirrors my experiences. From the feelings of guilt as I made my husband go to hospital which he hated to the anger felt at the world in general and even the one who has died. The pile of paperwork too, which sucks you dry and waking up thinking everything is fine only its not. This isn’t a ‘how to grieve book’ but it helps by the fact that you do wonder about your sanity but the realisation that someone else has gone through the same confusion of feelings does make you feel like you’re not alone.