The Unexpected Joy of Being Single: Locating unattached happiness
£5.70£9.50 (-40%)
* ‘This refreshing, unusual book needs to exist. A culture shift which repositions a single person as someone who is relationship-free, complete, and not lacking is long overdue.’ – The i *
* ‘Absolutely f*cking brilliant’ – Florence Given *
Having a secret single freak-out? Feeling the red, heart-shaped urgency intensify as the years roll on by? Oh hi! You’re in the right place.
Over half of Brits aged 25-44 are now single. It’s become the norm to remain solo until much later in life, given the average marriage ages of 35 (women) and 38 (men). Many of us are choosing never to marry at all.
But society, films, song lyrics and our parents are adamant that a happy ending has to be couple-shaped. That we’re incomplete without an ‘other half’*, like a bisected panto pony. Cue: single sorrow. Dating like it’s a job. Spending half our lives waiting for somebody-we-fancy to text us back. Feeling haunted by the terms ‘spinster’ or ‘confirmed bachelor.’
Catherine Gray took a whole year off dating to find single satisfaction. She lifted the lid on the reasons behind the global single revolution, explored the bizarre ways cultures single-shame, detached from ‘all the good ones are gone!’ panic and debunked the myth that married people are much happier.
Let’s start the reverse brainwash, in order to locate – and luxuriate in – single happiness. Are you in?
*Spoiler: you’re already whole
PRAISE FOR CATHERINE GRAY’S WRITING:
“Fascinating.” Bryony Gordon.
“Not remotely preachy.” The Times
“Jaunty, shrewd and convincing.” The Telegraph
“Admirably honest, light, bubbly and remarkably rarely annoying.” The Guardian
“Truthful, modern and real.” Stylist
“Brave, witty and brilliantly written.” Marie Claire
“Haunting, admirable and enlightening.” The Pool
Read more
Additional information
| Publisher | Aster, 1st edition (27 Dec. 2018) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Paperback | 272 pages |
| ISBN-10 | 1912023814 |
| ISBN-13 | 978-1912023813 |
| Dimensions | 12.62 x 1.98 x 19.81 cm |
by L. M. Stoppard-jones
The Unexpected Joy of Being Single, Catherine Gray.
I’m labouring through this life story come self help book.
Labouring because much that is written is obvious despite it being healthy to reread or think about reminders. I suspect it was written after deeply thinking about her life’s trials that were not always positive, such as her alcohol issue.
Much of the story relates to how females have been culturally conditioned into self perceptions of how females should think, feel and act. These are not new explorations but are for the writer no doubt. It is not a feminist view of the soft brain washing, more a reiteration of them and how they have modelled many many females into trying to achieve their own sane feeling norm.
I’m 70% through the book and inclined to skip quickly to finish it and move on to something else more innovative and original. It is new if you dont know or realise what it is saying.
by Lauren
???? “There’s a peculiar social quirk to being single, much the same as when you don’t drink. When you’re single or alcohol-free, people feel like they deserve some sort of explanation. Single people are fair game for questioning, just as sober people are. It’s odd.”
???? “Basically, if you haven’t chosen the traditional path of marriage plus two kids, you’ll need to defend your choices to society, okay?”
– Catherine Gray
????
I cannot recommend this author enough, Catherine’s book “The unexpected joys of being sober” is the reason I am almost 10 months sober and living my best life. This book “The unexpected joys of being single” is equally as great. It’s eye opening how much pressure is put on us everyday from really outdated views.
????
Here I am 27, sober, single and living my best life so far.
The other day I was questioned why I was single, how could this be, which made me really uncomfortable. I replied I’m single because I’m happy as I am, this reply then made the asker very uncomfortable. Good. Why should I have to question my own worth and my lifes worth based on whether or not I’m in a relationship with somebody else?
This isn’t a book that is anti relationships (I am also not) but it’s a real this is how it is, why is it like this and how are we still seeing these views acceptable.
Rant over.
by The O’s
I’m a huge fan of Catherine Gray and found her previous books to be thoroughly enjoyable and enlightening. I guess that means I picked up this book with incredibly high expectations. In parts, it did live up to the hype, with thought-provoking elements and solid research (I especially liked the section on the therapy that Catherine had). It definitely offered some food for thought.
That being said, I struggled a little with the structure of the book. It seemed to flit a lot and the chapters didn’t seem to fit under a single topic – this is probably just a personal preference of how I enjoy reading!
I, like many other reviewers, also found it a little hard to relate to. I don’t mind the fact that Catherine went into a lot of detail about her own life (I think it was incredibly brave and inspiring!), but the problem with a heavily personal take is that a lot of the time I couldn’t see her perspective. I also completely lost track of which ex was who and found myself wanting to skip parts that detailed her holidays and experiences that felt totally unrelated.
I also struggled to be convinced that Catherine has actually found the joy in being single herself. It seemed to yo-yo between “yes, single life is great” to “oh, but I still want to get married and have kids though”. It felt a little like Catherine was trying to convince herself she loved being single, whilst actually wanting to be in a relationship. Which, I actually don’t blame her for – it’s kind of how I’m feeling too! But I guess it just wasn’t overly helpful in inspiring me to move out of that place.
Some great points, but I haven’t left feeling overly “joyful” about being single.
by Stephenie Burke
Having previously read The Unexpected Joy of being sober, and bought many copies for my boozy friends, I was excited to await the delivery of Catherine’s new book. The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober saw me through six months alcohol-free last year and was the one book on giving up alcohol that I kept referring to again and again like a good friend. When I picked up the wine glass again, it was because of confusion and sadness about my relationships. I quickly slipped back into drinking too much again. Well, ‘Tadah’ just in time for the New Year here comes my old friend and sober sister to the rescue, with a whole new book of wisdom perfect for me. I have read a lot of books about relationships and this has been the most illuminating. I particularly enjoyed the section on dog whistle politics seeing myself as clearly involved in this in my current relationship. Knowing that using alcohol as a crutch was deeply connected to my love life was my starting point for reading The Unexpected Joy of being Single. I am in a long term (28 years) relationship, but this book has cast a new lens for me to look through over my relationships history and has given me the confidence to seek what will ultimately be the healthiest option for me. I am 10 days sober, with the intention of making this permanent, and each evening when feeling sad and wanting to immerse myself in wine, I dig out Catherine’s books and look to my future. I am now working my way through the extensive recommendations list provided. Thank you, Catherine.
Buy this book, it could change your life as it has mine.