Unspoken: The Silent Truth Behind My Lifelong Trauma as a Forced Adoptee (Stolen Lives)
£4.70
“I was two when the woman I called Mummy told me, ‘You came out of another mummy’s tummy.’ I grew up thinking that my birth mother didn’t want me. I assumed there must’ve been something inherently wrong with me – why else would a mother give up her baby?”
In 1974, Liz Harvie – born Claire Elaine Watts – was given up for adoption by her birth mother Yvonne. Claire spent the first ten days of her life with Yvonne before being placed in a foster home. Almost eight weeks later, Claire’s adoptive parents collected her from the foster home – and renamed her Elizabeth.
Although brought up in a ‘perfect’ household, the emotional – and physical – trauma of being taken from her biological mother would never leave Liz. She constantly wondered: what does my real mum look like? Will she come back for me? Why did she abandon me?
Years later, aged 28, Liz reconnected with her birth mother – and finally learned the shocking truth surrounding her adoption. Yvonne had not abandoned her daughter. As a young unmarried mum, Yvonne had been deemed unfit as a parent and been made to give up her child against her will.
Liz was one of at least 185,000 victims of forced adoption between 1949 and 1976 in England and Wales. Although reunited, Liz and Yvonne are still struggling to cope with the agony resulting from their devastating separation.
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Additional information
| Publisher | Mardle Books (9 Nov. 2023) |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| File size | 1154 KB |
| Text-to-Speech | Enabled |
| Screen Reader | Supported |
| Enhanced typesetting | Enabled |
| X-Ray | Not Enabled |
| Word Wise | Enabled |
| Sticky notes | On Kindle Scribe |
| Print length | 227 pages |
by Jil
As an adoptee myself, and familiar with literature on the subject, Lizzie’s book has rocked me to my core. I am crying as I write this…for the loss Lizzie endures, and for her bravery and willingness to be vulnerable in the telling of her story. Lizzie is a warm and natural storyteller…it’s like being in the room with her as she speaks. This is such an important book, for the wider community to be able to understand us, and for fellow adoptees, to feel less alone with the wound of separation unique to adoptees.
by Charlotte Jarvis
One very brave lady, beautifully telling the story of her adoption.
Thank you for sharing your story and giving others in a similar situation to feel that they are not alone. And also those of us that have not experienced adoption the chance to be educated and to try to understand just a tiny bit.
by krista hughes
I loved Liz’s honesty and integrity, which shone through in every word. Thank you for speaking this truth of your lived experience, Liz
by JoanieC
From two years old Elizabeth (Liz) knows she’s adopted, her mother telling her numerous times that she’s been ‘chosen’, but it isn’t until she reaches the age of sixteen that she’s shown her adoption papers and learns about her birth parents.
‘Unspoken’ must have been a difficult book to write as Liz tells of her childhood when she’s bullied at school, throughout her years of further education which she thoroughly enjoys, to when as an adult she feels ready to contact The Children’s Society and put her name on the National Adoption Contact Register. Her meetings with her birth mother Yvonne and father Andy are touching and I can feel her hurt at how her adopted mother treated her for wanting to meet her birth parents. Thank you, Liz, for letting me read about your experiences and learn more about how adoption can affect both mothers and child, and I’m so pleased at the way your life has turned out.
by Jude Harvey
Unspoken is a raw and real account of the authors life as a forced adoptee. The lifelong trauma that so many adoptees live with due to their relinquishment at birth, is woven through the story of Liz’s life, her trials, her successes, her worries, all underpinned with the unspoken trauma of her adoption ever present. The book is heartbreaking and heartwarming in equal measure.
It is beautifully written, and is so descriptive, you can see and feel the highs and lows, and the joy and sadness throughout.
It’s a must read for all those touched by adoption, and also those who haven’t been and who are open to hearing a raw account told through the author’s life story, of why adoption isn’t all ‘unicorns and rainbows’, and you’re getting a ‘better life’ narrative.
As an adoptee myself, this book makes me feel seen and validated… thank you to the author Liz for being brave enough to write and share your story.
by Judy Penny
In an era when forcing unmarried mothers to give up their babies to respectable (but often infertile) married couples was commonplace, newly born infant Claire was taken from her mother and adopted by seemingly “better” parents, who named her Elizabeth and raised her with every material advantage but with little understanding or acknowledgement of the emotional struggles resulting from her adoption.
Liz faced many challenges growing up in her adoptive family and in this book, she relates how difficult she found it that her adoption was something nobody was willing to talk about and how so many feelings remained “unspoken”. She gradually came out of the FOG (feelings of fear, obligation and guilt, stemming from her adoption) and is now on a path to healing the wounds of the past and embracing a different future – and this book gives us an insight into her journey, told with candour and openness. Rather than pursuing the idea of adoption as “happy ever after”, Liz’s book gives us a glimpse into the tangled emotions that are adoption’s true legacy – for all concerned.